Poo. I'm in a funny mood again now. In my opinion, hate and love are the two most powerful emotions ever, and they're not words that I use or take lightly. I used to think that if they were left alone, without anything fuelling them, they'd fade. Now I'm not so sure. Perhaps if they fade they were never real in the first place. I don't know. That's irrelevant anyway.

There are plenty of people that I dislike, some more than others, but only a few people who I hate. It's a few too many, really, but it's not something I can help. It's true that hate and love are the two closest emotions, and it's ok to not be able to control who you love, so it should be the same for the people you hate.

Anyway, there are constant reminders of these people. I know how bad it is, but I want o seem them fail. I want them to be as unhappy as they made me. I don't want them to be getting on with their lives. I want them to be ugly. But that's not the way it is, and sometimes I just can't deal with that. I don't care if people want to give me lectures on what a bad person that makes me, because if they do, it's probably because they don't know half of what has gone on. Some people know some of it, but not all. And it's the all that makes it so bad.

They're just words. But the point is, they're not. And I should get over it. But I can't. I should stop being so bitter, resentful, vengeful, miserable. But that's just not possible right now. And yeah, I'm feeling sorry for myself. Deal with it.

It's pathetic that I can still cry so much about it after so long.